Nara

To answer questions from my previous post, I will just simply say that the yogurt marination happened that day and I was so sicked out by it, for some reason. I still ate the yogurt but couldn't shake the feeling that I was eating hints of puppy waste...and that got me thinking about other things I've been grossed out by, or should have been grossed out by. I've decided germs are 98% mental, because none of us are consistent in what we're averse to.

Anyway! Ready for another Japan story?! I know I am! Roll the tape!!!!

In fair Japan lies a city named Nara, famed for only 2 things: A giant Buddha, and lots of deer. I don't know about you, but when I picture(d) Japan, deer had nothing to do with it. But...proud citizens always capitalize on whatever they can, so Nara has become Deer Town. Many signs, trinkets, and mascots lined the path to the park where Big Buddha is enshrined, promising us many delights to be had with mostly-domesticated deer.



I had been fed full of deer tales on our way, including one in which Chizu's friend was supposedly punched by a deer, right in the face. No, I thought, Bambi? I resolved inwardly that she must be mistaken. My experience with deer has placed them in the fantastical realm of myth up to this point--I 've seen them as elusive, docile, meadow-frolicking creatures who occasionally demonstrate roadside paralysis, or...mystical powers of flight and/or bewitchment (There's a story there, but it's not this one).
So I was ready to be enchanted.

Do you think this deterred me?



Heavens, no. If anything, the red lightning bolts only served to further entrench my fantastical notions about them. Besides, the sign was in Japanese.

And there we were! In the Land of Plentiful Deer! It was everything I'd ever imagined but hadn't ever imagined because who freaking thinks about deer, ever?!



Oh, it was magical. They were so kind, and gentle, walking right up to you and giving you a friendly nudge! I felt like Snow White, or Sleeping Beauty or whatever.

And then I saw this:


Deer fight. This unnerved me a little, I suppose. I made a mental note to steer clear of the big, mean-looking ones. They probably weren't deer anyway, since everyone knows deer are peace-loving animals.

I purchased packs of rice crackers and strolled to a slightly wooded area to begin some new friendships. My senses were buzzing, all six of them. One pretty little fawn came my way and pushed her nose into my hand for a treat. I happily obliged, giggling with delight at the human/deer physical contact. Then, to my surprise and slight unease, I noticed several deer trotting my way. Many, in fact. Trotting sort of fast. Snow White started feeling a bit, um, outnumbered.

And then, far too late, I saw one of the "mean-looking" ones approaching. And by approaching, I mean right next to me, snarling and staring at my bag of crackers with fire coming out of his eyes. I realized with horror that this was one of the "mean-looking" ones I had seen fighting earlier. Remember them?

Several things happened then. 1) I tried to convince myself that this, though angry, was still just a deer. Peace-loving, docile, enchanting, right? Right. 2) I contemplated running. But I never can keep the animal rules straight: Is it run when you see a bear and play dead when you see a skunk, or the other way around? I envisioned myself running and an angry deer chasing me, and we all know who would win that little footrace (Hint: Deer have 4 feet. Simple math). 3) In the absence of an escape plan, I instinctively withheld my bag of crackers from the approaching deer. You know, that whole give-a-mouse-a-cookie thing. Apparently I think I can subdue nature with tough love. BAD. IDEA.

Large angry deer circles me. Snorts. Nudges, real unfriendly-like, at my crackers. And then he freaking tries to gore me in the pelvic region. Remember this?



Yeah, more like this:



The evil deer threatened my loins, broke my favorite lens, bruised my inner/upper thigh, smudged weird deer goo all over that region, and left me with a mortal fear of the gentlest of God's creatures. Hit it and quit it. If that sucker had horns, he would have taken my unborn children.

Shudder.
So, yeah. That was Nara. We saw a really big Buddha there. And somehow, at the end of the day, I still felt a little bit like Snow White.