Friday, May 20, 2011

I think the post below is possibly the worst blog post of all time.

A Bedtime Story

Forgive me for my long absence. 

I honestly haven't had much motivation to blog lately, mostly because things are great and I'm busy and somehow I like to keep all that goodness to myself. But yesterday I was flirted with by a 9-year-old on a school bus, and I realized: People need to know about these things. I have plenty to write about.

 This is what the kid did to me, I swear. The whole back of the bus was eating it up.

So now, a bedtime story.
Not sure how this has happened, but I have purchased 3 beds in the last few years. The first is my favorite: a queen that resides in my brother's basement, begging me to get married and finally reclaim it from storage. The second is the subject of this story. The third is the bed I now sleep in, a full-size that dips slightly in the middle but otherwise perfectly suits my needs.

The second bed has been on a quite a journey. I rescued it from some man's garage at what I thought was a good price, but has proven otherwise. It was advertised as a twin, but some exacting friends have determined that it is in fact a single, which is smaller than a twin. Did you know that there are beds smaller than twin size, that aren't cribs? Yeah, me neither. Anyway, my little kid bed and I have been through a lot together. She and I, hand in hand, fled the snow and cold in Utah and arrived in humid Huntington Beach a little torn up and soggy, but happy. When I placed her in my current room, she and I both realized this move was bigger than we thought. As giant room dwarfed my little kid bed and made me feel like I was sleeping in a warehouse. That was fine with me for awhile, but then I purchase bed #3 off a friend and determined to send the little kid bed to live somewhere else. Like maybe with a deserving little kid. But I had underestimated the popularity of Hotel Stef, and my many guests have enjoyed her firmness instead of the firmness of my bedroom floor for about 9 months now.

Why am I going on and on about this? I don't know.

Anyway, I determined a few weeks ago to finally part ways with this bed. I had a mini yard sale where the bed was one of only 2 items I needed to sell. I sold the other one, but not the bed. So I posted the bed on Craigslist, to no avail. I called a place to see if I could donate it, but they wouldn't come pick it up. So yesterday, at 6:30am I put the bed in our alley by the garage, having been told that people come through there looking for free stuff all the time. I made an airport run and returned about an hour later and made a sign that said "FREE!" to put on the bed. But when I went to the alley to put the sign on the bed, it was gone. Gone! It took just over an hour to rid myself of it. Heck, it could have been claimed 5 minutes after I put it out there for all I know. I wish so badly I could have been there to see who picked it up, because the speed at which they came is blowing my mind. I'm a little suspicious that somebody has been stalking my bed, just waiting for me to offer it up for free. Well played, alley cats, well played.

Thus ends the story of my little kid bed. 
 This is the current bed. We'll call it my adolescence.

I know this is not very interesting to you or answers any of the questions I've received about how my life is going these days, it is. This is what I'm doing with myself lately.

 PS I'm extremely happy. Things are going just fine. I'll write about it sometime.