One for the Dickens
It was the best of times; it was the worst of times. Sound familiar? Then you must have been in 9th grade honors English for a week too.
This was a banner year for me and mine. I don’t think I’ve ever experienced such high highs, and alternately such low lows—A very dichotomous existence. If I were a stock market, I would close the year and break even….but, thankfully, I think life is a little more favorable as far as what we accumulate. 2008 showed me that my losses can ultimately become gains, if I let them. 2008 provided the setting for that lesson, but I imagine it will take many more years before I can say I’ve learned it.
My theme for 08 was Positive Thinking. How did I do, you ask? Not so awesome all the time. But I definitely made strides in that vein. I think I learned a lot about forgiveness, about perspective, about myself empowered by an awareness of how much my state of mind controls my state of affairs. I gave up resolutions a few years back because they’ve never worked that well for me. Not to disparage anyone’s goal-setting practices, because I definitely think it’s worthwhile, but for me? Not so much. I’m a check-things-off-the-list kind of person, so it’s way too easy for me to put “Service” or “Lose weight” on the list and check it off with relish when I make any sort of progress. It’s apparent that to make any real changes in my life, I instead need to focus on what I want to become more than what I want to do. Doing results in becoming, I know, but I would rather outline who I want to be and then, with that in mind, do things to reach that point. Thus, the setting of themes. It’s a little annoying to never be able to check it off the list, since at the end of the year I don’t imagine I’ll ever be able to say “Ta da—I’m a 100% positive thinker!” or whatever. But themes it will be, until I figure out another way to mold this mortal machine into something better each year.
This year?
Live in the Moment.No, I’m not a proponent of short-sightedness. I like perspective, and I like long-term thinking. This theme isn’t about naiveté or being frivolously present. It’s about being here, now. Being present by not wishing away this time that I have. I love Elder Wirthlin’s last talk, “Come What May, and Love It” because he’s speaking with the wisdom of an aged, completed man. Anybody who has lived through something hard can later look back and see what points should have been handled with less worry, more confidence, deeper faith. A whole lifetime of that, and I imagine things get pretty simple there at the end. One must have a pretty clear picture of what matters: Love, faith and spiritual standing, overall satisfaction/success (however you define it), etc. I can already look back on my short life and see times when I wish I could have just relaxed and enjoyed what I was doing, because it’s so fleeting.
Living in the moment involves awareness. When I am in a situation where I am not distracted by who else is there, what will happen later, how I look/sound/act, or any of the million things that go through my head, I am able to be aware of the things that matter. Church is a great example, since singles' wards are so distracting. I’ve gone and had my eye on some guy, thinking of ways to get noticed, and then I’ll leave disappointed if nothing happens. If, instead, I attend a meeting and just shut off the self-absorption, I'm suddenly opened up to learning things I need to learn...and it helps me identify people who might need help, motivating me to use my time efficiently and effectively.
Another example of this happened on New Year’s Eve. We arrived at a cabin covered in 4+ feet of snow and had to clear our own path to get in. Normally I hate getting to cabins first, because it’s always freezing and there’s a lot to do…so I like to come when everything is all set up nicely for me. I’m so giving, right? Well, this year there was more to do than ever, and for a split second it seemed pretty daunting to even salvage the evening. But then, somehow, I was there in the present, tromping around in snow up to my thighs and falling all over the place and dancing in a snow shower from a snow blower and laughing with everyone at our situation…and everything changed. I now have a memory of an amazing night with beautiful scenery, fun people, and the blessing of safety over and over again for myself and people I love.
Anyway, my idea is to do everything I can to plan for the future, but also do everything I can to see things as they are right now, because right now is when the work is being done. And right now is passing so quickly that I can barely keep up.
I’m curious what everybody else has planned for this year. Goals? Resolutions? Themes? Vacations? Project Rock? Send your ideas my way.
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