Thursday, September 20, 2007

Winter is coming: Who wants to be my electric blanket?

The long awaited dating review is here!

(Disclaimer: I will not be too specific on these descriptions because you never know who might be reading...I shudder to think that any boys might encounter this blog, because everybody knows BlogWorld belongs exclusively to girls.)

I consider my dating life smokin' if I have a date every week or two. That's been happening lately so I actually have some things to report, but sometimes I use the term 'date' rather loosely. Some would consider this a quota-filling, self-deluded way to think, but I just like being able to check "Romance" off on my master list, okay?

Date #1 — The Phantom Masseur: Having met this one on a recent vacation and receiving some unsolicited physical contact from him, I wasn't terribly surprised when he acquired my phone number from someone else and asked me out. Nor was I terribly excited, because I find it distracting when every time I look there's some creature staring at me like...I don't know what like, but not too much unlike an 8th grader looks at the worm they're about to dissect. Googly, yes. Friendly? Not sure.
Anyway, have you ever been in a situation where a person is desparately seeking your approval/attention/applause? I realize this sounds really cocky, but I'm just going to tell it like it is. He was saying things he thought were funny or talking in a weird voice and out of my peripheral vision I can see him watching to see if I laughed. And we all know I can't fake it.
Highlights: Turkey races
Candice and Dave and family
Getting home by 10:30
Lowlights: Worst Navajo taco ever
Remember that whole staring thing?
Getting home by 10:30 (means it was a bad date)
Wrap up: Nice guy, no chemistry, not connected enough to do anything other than avoid future phone calls. And I'm a really, really bad actress.

Date #2 -- The Set-up: A friend who never sets anybody up decided to set me up with a co-worker, mostly in exchange for his work on a project she needed complete. I don't think I've ever been peddled this way before, and it's sort of...awesome to be traded like some sort of goods or services. This one was an easy crowd--I didn't have to glance at him constantly to see if he was laughing because he rewarded my every quip with a hearty chuckle. Most people know how important it is for me to be rewarded that way, whether it's real or not. It helps that I was in a really good mood from work that day and sort of hyper...
Highlights: Dismantling the weird piece of marketing whatever on the restaurant table
and then complaining to the waiter that somebody ruined our centerpiece.
CD players and speakers in cars. Revolutionary.
YouTube
Lowlights: He thinks girls have nakey pillow fights.
Not the best burger ever
Again, home by 10:30
Wrap up: Even nicer guy; not creepy, and I really did have a good time. No chemistry, but I hope I didn't ruin any office relationships.

Date #3 -- The Unexpected: Somehow I tricked this one into a date when I invited him to a concert and he couldn't get off work in time...I think he felt really bad and took me to dinner to ease his conscience. Little did he know he would have the time of his life! BAM!! This guy is tricky because I think he's genuinely just nice but everything he does looks a lot like wooing me. And I'm very woo-able in this case. Every time I talk to him I just think he's so cool and that's the only way to describe it. I'm working on working it.
Highlights: Chivalry lives
Surprises galore, ie follow-up texts, etc.
Air guitar
Lowlights: Restaurants close early
Missed concert
Accidently comparing your date to a balding George McFly
Wrap up: I had to think really hard to find lowlights. We'll see where this goes...

Well, I hope you enjoyed my review. Please continue your prayers that I will get dates so we can continue this tradition.

8 comments:

SHELLS BELLS! said...

So many thoughts, but I'm having a hard time organizing what I want to say, or in this case, write. I pray every night you have more dates so you can keep the dating review coming.The End

Shannon said...

creepy dates are the best

Anonymous said...

I love being such a big part of your life, especially your bad dating life. -C

Lohra said...

Mostly, I just really enjoyed the title.

Kaydi Paxman said...

something must be in the air, I have been in the midst of concocting a dating post. won't it be great when we don't all have lousy dates to report on?

Anonymous said...

And #4...soon to add to your list. Going out with your friend's old lady neighbors son who acquired your info through a double blind description. He then shows up to one of your parties with one of his social misfit friends and asks you out...I think #1 might remind me of a man in Logan that ended up on a certain government acquired list for predators. Yikes!

Anonymous said...

That was me Natty, I hate logging in and my work computer doesn't let me

Phil Honus said...

Yo, sweetheart, if you're looking for the date-of-your-life, check out my blog and leave a comment, and I can give you some digits. Yo, here's just a sample of what may happen on our date: amazing conversation, hot guy eating food in front of you making you laugh and have best time of your life, irresistible attraction to said hot guy making you want to call him always.
Like I said, it's just a sample.