Sistaz

As the baby of the fam, I've experienced my siblings in many different settings, at different times. I don't feel I grew up with the top half of them, since they were old enough to be moved out by the time I was forming a lot of memories. One of my favorite things about becoming an adult is getting to know my siblings. I am closest in age to Shannon, but still 4 years apart. This made for an interesting dynamic growing up. She knew how to push my buttons like nobody else, and chose to do so regularly. She also taught me important things, like how to write love letters to boys (who would later beat me up for it) and do my bangs and accept hand-me-down bras instead of asking your very reserved mother for one. I loved Shannon more than I would ever admit while growing up, and that has become clear when I go down memory lane and realize the almost puppet-like devotion to my sister. Examples, yes?


Remember the radio station KJQ? They had a contest once where you had to listen for the noise of Chuck Taylor scratching on his grave and then be caller #7 to win a pair of Converse All-Star shoes. Shan was trying desperately to win one morning but had to go to school about an hour earlier than I did. So she left her slavish little sister with a phone, a radio, her shoe size, and strict instructions on what to do. And I did it! Ultimately I heard the noise, called in, was caller #7, and won the shoes, and throughout all I impersonated my sister. It never occurred to me until years later that I could have won the shoes for myself. It never even crossed my mind because I was so excited to tell Shan that she'd won! Lest you think this was an isolated incident, there was also the time I sat outside the bathroom door with a radio in my lap, ...with strict instructions to listen for her favorite song ("Kokomo" by the Beach Boys!) and bring the radio into the bathroom as soon as it started playing, so she could enjoy it while she showered. And I did it.



I used to look at my sister's class picture and memorize the names of all her classmates. I knew who had crushes on who, who was moving away, and which boys made fun of Shan for having a gymnastics leotard in her bag (these boys have a special place in Hell for the torture they inflicted on her, it seems). I knew her life better than mine because it was so much more exciting!

A unifying influence in our lives was the fear/awe of our teenage angst-ridden brother, Matt*.
(Sorry, Matt, if you're reading....but you can't deny it. Actually, I'm sorry for much of what is to follow, as it may or may not be new information for you.) Ahem. So. Shan and I were badgered by Matt constantly, or so we felt, and wanted to exact revenge. Being younger, smaller, and significantly less angry, we knew we couldn't attack him physically or tell our parents about him because he would get back at us. We decided to get back at him in secret, so we could enjoy a quiet revenge to ourselves and not provoke his retaliation. We did what anybody would do: We picked our boogers and wiped them on Matt's pillow. Other times we mixed up some sort of yellow liquid concoction and poured it on his sheets. I'm not sure what the game plan was there--either to make my mom think he wet the bed, or to make him think he wet the bed. Hilarious, either way. All Shannon's idea. She also enticed me once to join her in throwing a metal baton down the laundry shoot that Matt was climbing up. The lion's roar that echoed through that metal shaft was fantastic. I don't even remember what he did to us after that...I think I blacked out.

And then there was the time Shan wanted me to get in trouble for some reason. We were forbidden to say "butt-hole", which still makes me laugh. So she takes my favorite treat, orange tic-tacs, a with an evil gleam in her eye, stares me down while she pours the whole box into the hot bathwater I'd just drawn. I, thus-provoked, gritted my teeth at the fierce injustice of it all and made a choice. Consequences be darned, I HAD to call my sister a butt-hole. She rewarded me with a predictable wicked witch-esque laugh and ran off to tell Dad what I said. Shan, don't ever tell me you're not creative.

Shannon has been a great champion of anything I attempt to do, even after I've sort of grown up and gotten all opinionated and cynical. She is humble and has a heart of gold, genuinely trying to be the best person she can. She is real. She is funny. And while she could still push my buttons if she tried, usually chooses not to, and in the process serves as a really really great big sister. Today I am grateful for my sis.



*Matt has turned out quite nicely, despite his less-than-promising adolescence. Proof here.